Cirque du Fairy Tail
by Twisted Sonnet
Summary: Lucy is running away from a forced marriage, and lo! What's this? She joins a traveling circus, where she meets Natsu Dragneel, a fire breather in the main act. And thus begins our...TAIL ... Rated M for future LEMONS in future chappies and bad, bad language! This is my fist FanFic, so please be gentle... I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL ('Cause if I did... Ohonhonhon )
1. Chapter 1

The sun was setting, and most would be either sad that the day was ending, or glad that another day could begin. One girl, however, was neither. A day was simply a day, no matter what happened. As she stared into the setting sun from the balcony just outside of her room, she pondered as she normally does -as it's one of her favorite pastimes- about what people who had the ability to make their own choices were doing. Being the only child of the prestigious Heartfilia family, her life was a timeline that her father wrote out for her, hence her wondering what it was like to make her own choices.

No sooner had she started, a loud knocking at the large wooden door leading outside of her room ripped her from her thoughts.

"Lucy, your father wants you! Open up! He says it's of the utmost importance!" the small, feminine voice wheezed. 'Seems like father scared her into running all the way across the mansion' Lucy thought.

She walked to the door and opened it to find a young boy of about eight looking as if he was about to faint from exhaustion. 'So she's a he. One of the new servants, no doubt.' Lately, her father had made it a hobby of his to fire servants for making the smallest mistakes and rehiring new servants to terrify.

"Please," the boy gasped, "come quickly". Lucy shut the door behind her and followed the boy all the way across the huge mansion and into her fathers' study. Her father waved his hand to dismiss the young servant, and he rapidly obliged, practically running from the room and nearly slamming the door behind him. She had no clue why, but the sound seemed to give a sense of finality, of an unknown impending doom.

"So father, what did you need me for?"

The man stood up and turned to look out the window, his hands clasped behind his back. He remained silent for what seemed like an eternity, and then another eternity, before he finally spoke.

"Next week, you are going to marry the Duke of Hargeon."

Lucy felt as if she had been punched in the face, and then her stomach twisted in disgust.

"But father, he is easily three times my-"

"SILENCE!"

She jumped, not expecting him to interrupt her, much less shout.

Turning around, her father glared and raised his finger to point at her accusingly.

"You" He spat," have no right to speak" He strode to his desk and sat down with a flourish.

"You are also to stay in your room until the ceremony. Your meals will be brought to you by the servants. Am I clear?"

Lucy stared at him, with tears brimming in her eyes.

"AM. I. CLEAR!"

"Yes." Lucy managed to choke out. "Yes Father."

"Good. You're dismissed to your room."

Lucy, determined to maintain some dignity, walked out of the study with her shoulders back and her head high, despite the wobble in her step or the tears shining in her eyes. As the door closed, did the only thing she could. She ran to her room across the mansion. When she arrived several minutes later, she fell to her bed and cried.

She cried for her dignity, she cried for freedom, but most of all… She cried for the life she was now determined to escape.


	2. Chapter 2

Lucy waited until early morning to carry out her genius (If not insane) plan of action. After she was certain that no one could possibly be up at that time- it was nearly 2 AM- to open the door or her balcony and proceed to climb down the rose trellis that towered along all five stories of the Heartfilia mansion… and just her luck, she resided on the fifth floor.

'This is going to hurt' she thought as she looked towards the top of the trellis. Because she had changed out of the overly fancy, overly ribboned, and overly priced barf-tastic pink hued gown and into short shorts, a black, revealing T- shirt and basically black everything else, she most likely would not be protected from the onslaught of thorns she would be clinging to in a few minutes. She adjusted her huge, overstuffed backpack, mentally checking off the necessities she had packed. Mainly skimpy clothes (To save space OF COURSE…) resided within, along with more Jewel than any lawyer would make in a year, a notebook, and a mysterious mahogany box.

When Lucy could stall no longer, she took a deep breath and reached for the trellis. She climbed over the rail as she did so, with said rail her only means of support. As she grasped the wood of the trellis, she then stepped onto it and grabbed it with her other hand. She then stepped down with one foot, and then the other. As she pulled her right hand down and grabbed the trellis, she gasped in pain as a thorn buried itself into her palm. Naturally, she immediately snatched her hand away from the stem at fault and as she did so, a drop of blood rolled down her wrist and landed on a white rose a few feet below. She craned her head to look at the crimson droplet that painted the rose, and smiled slightly. In darkness, the blood appeared almost black.

'Black contrasts white so nicely.' Lucy thought 'It reminds me of me and my fathers' opinions. Of course, when it matters, mine is tiny like a drop of blood compared to a rose.' As she pulled herself out of her thoughts and into reality, she continued to descend to her freedom.

Soon she reached the fourth floor, and she passed the window that looked into the female servant's quarters. When Lucy was just about to disappear from view, an old woman peered out the window and directly at Lucy. Lucy froze, and stared back at the servant in a state of terror. The woman than placed her index finger on top of her withered lips, and gave her a kind, knowing smile. Lucy figured she had heard of the wedding as well, and was almost against it as she was. Whether she was telling Lucy to be quiet or if she was swearing her silence, Lucy had no idea. But both, she knew, meant that she would receive no trouble from the old lady.

Lucy grinned at her gratefully, and then climbed down, out of sight of the window and the woman who had seen something dangerous to her job.

Lucy passed the third floor without any trouble (It was a storeroom, anyway), but the second floor held her father's bedroom. When she passed that particular bedroom, she started when she saw the window was open. A voice drifted out, and it seemed her father was talking to someone on the telephone with someone.

"…Yes, yes, I know she disapproves, but what does that matter? Lucy can't do anything about it."

Lucy paused when she heard her name, and decided to listen to what her father was talking about.

"Of course she won't escape! She's locked in her room, and I have the only key. What is she going to do? Climb down the rose trellis?!" Lucy just barely stopped herself from laughing like a madwoman at the irony in that statement.

"Besides, she wouldn't dare disobey me. She is too terrified of me to even form a coherent sentence!" Now that last statement completely pissed her off, and it was everything she could do to keep from climbing into his room and giving him a taste of her 'Lucy- Kick'. At that point, she had a good idea of who was on the other line, but a moment later her suspicions were confirmed anyway.

"Yes sir, your Lordship, Lucy will be ready for the ceremony next Sunday…..err… What do you mean 'is the dress going to be sexy?'…erm…..would you like it to be?... yes, I can ask the seamstress to lower the neckline. Alright, I apologize for calling you at this hour….. Yes, goodbye."

Lucy shook her head in disgust at both her father and the pervert she was supposed to marry as she continued to climb down. She could not be happier that she had chosen to escape now instead of tomorrow night, when the engagement party would be held, even though she would have been able to peek in a window to gaze at her father's anger and humiliation. Also, the look on the Duke of Hargeon's face would probably be just as priceless. Lucy chuckled at the images her imagination brought up.

After a few minutes, Lucy finally reached the ground. She studied herself, relieved to find only minor cuts and scrapes along her limbs. She adjusted her backpack and began her journey down the long path through the gardens within the Heartfilia estate, destination already in mind.

'No one will ever find me. No one will even think to look. After all, why would they even consider me walking directly into the lion's den? Hargeon, here I come!'

_**And there it is, ladies and gents. CHAPTER 2 OF FIRST FANFIC! R&amp;R PUH- LEEEEEZE!**_

_** I would like to thank Jenners, who would absolutely NOT. SHUT. UP about me writing a My Sims fanfic. Yeah. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. You half convinced me, though. Be proud, that's better than most. (0v0).**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hello children! Chappie #3, commence! (Que dramatic music!)**_

"Ma'am? Ma'am, the train is stopping. Ma'am?" Lucy woke up to find a total stranger leaning over her reclining body that was, just a moment ago, sleeping soundly. Being both paranoid and sadistic, she did the first thing that popped up within her blonde head.

"LUCY- KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!" She screamed at the top of her lungs as the poor conductor received a skull- shattering blow to the side of his head. He collapsed to the ground with a red, steaming, and probably permanent impression of Lucy's foot on his right temple.

"No pervert stands a chance against the almighty Lucy- Kick!" She shouted in glee as she studied her handiwork on the KO'ed conductor.

'I give it four stars. He never stood a chance.' Lucy thought after she completed her assessment.

Realizing that she was not in her bedroom, Lucy spun around in a circle, memorizing the unfamiliar environment. Slowly, the events of the day before came back into her memory, including when she boarded the last train bound for Hargeon. Only then did she take a closer look at the 'perverts' uniform.

"I do believe I have made a small oopsie…" Lucy laughed nervously. Just then, the train came to a complete stop at the Hargeon station. Wisely, she made the decision to grab her overstuffed backpack and hightail it out of there before she was sued.

*************************************************************Timey- Wimey Skipskip! ***

Walking the streets of the port city Hargeon, Lucy took a deep breath of the salty, yet refreshing, sea air. Lucy had never come anywhere an ocean before, so she was completely euphoric. Maintaining her poise (Or at least as poised as anyone could possibly be in such a ridiculously short skirt) was beginning to prove difficult, like if she didn't go to the beach or somewhere exciting, she would collapse into a giggling mass right in the middle of the street. Which would be pretty embarrassing, in Lucy's opinion.

Suddenly, a huge mass of laughing kids came running towards her. Lucy, the brave soul, frantically searched for a place to take refuge from what she viewed as a swarm of killer piranhas. Seeing that there was none, she dove into a duck- and- cover position right in the middle of the street. As the rushing children surrounded her she felt at least two of them trip over her.

When all was finally peaceful once again, Lucy turned her head only to see a little girl cowering next to her in the exact same position. The girl was also staring at Lucy, with her chest heaving and her breaths coming out in pants. Lucy got up and then helped the girl up. They caught their breath and then proceeded to dust themselves off.

"What the heck were those kids running too?" Lucy pondered out loud.

"The circus. It's been in town for a couple of days and they're leaving early tomorrow." the girl said.

'The circus! That's the excitement I'm looking for!' Lucy put her hands on her hips and beamed down towards the girl.

"Were you on your way to that circus…..um…what did you say your name was?"

"I'm Edana, but Mama and all the kids call me Eddie. And yeah, I was going there."

"Okay, so what should I call you?"

"Master."

Lucy snorted. "How about Eddie?"

Eddie huffed, complete with puffed out cheeks and folded arms.

"Fine, but I ain't gonna' like it."

'Oh I love this kid' Lucy thought with a smirk. "So, do you want to walk with me there?"

Eddie looked up at Lucy inquisitively, with her arms still crossed.

"You'd be the one walking with me, 'cause I'm the only one here that knows the way to where they're set up."

"Fair enough. May I walk with you, Eddie?"

The little fox shrugged "Sure."

She started walking, with Lucy close at her heels. Walking, as we know, to Lucy's destiny.

***************************************************(Yet another) Timey- Wimey Skipskip!***

Lucy's jaw dropped so low, it seemed like it passed her jumbo- sized boobs.

"Shut your mouth, you're attracting flies" Eddie said as she waved imaginary flies away from Lucy.

Lucy complied, snapping her jaw closed with lightning speed. She couldn't help that she was shock beyond belief. The number of people inside the gates was even further beyond ANYONES belief. There were hundreds of people in the area with the carnival games alone, and even more by the fortune teller's booth and stuff like that. Eddie tugged at the hem of her shirt.

"C'mon. Let's go to the big top. The show's about to start."

As they waded through the crowds, some acts caught Lucy's attention. But the one that fascinated Lucy the most was the fire- eater. He lit a match and showed it to the onlookers, showing off the tiny flame. After a second, he promptly swallowed it, both wood and flame. He smirked at his audience and with a twinkle in his onyx eyes, tilted his head skyward and blew a fifteen foot column of flame out of his mouth and into the air. The crowd around him went wild, clapping and whistling and stomping their feet. He bowed, and his spiky pink hair covered his face.

He looked up, directly at Lucy, and her breath caught in her throat. In his eyes, she saw a fire that burned through her soul. His previous smirk turned into an all- out grin, and then he was blocked from view by the crowd walking past. Her heart sank. More than anything, she wanted to talk to him, to gaze into his fiery black eyes, to kiss him passionately, to….. WAIT WHAT!?

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty!" Eddie said.

Lucy snapped out of her perverted thoughts and focused on the impatient little tyke. She said the cleverest thing that came to mind.

"Huh?"

"'Huh,' yourself. Circus. Big top. Main Act. Walking. Keeping drool INSIDE the mouth. Remember?"

Lucy wiped her mouth as she began to follow Eddie into the colossal striped tent that loomed around a hundred yards in front of them.

_**Aaaannnnnnnd DONE! El Finito Chapter #3, Amigos! (Applause!)**_

_** You know how I mentioned Jenners in Chappie 2? Well, I took my Kindle to school today and showed the story to her. Whilst I was looking for the story, She was telling me that what I wanted to show her was absolutely horrible, which was based off of past experience (Ahhhh, memories. (~u~)). So when I finally showed her the 'dedication', she absolutely flipped. Now, her nickname is Jenners, whilst mine is ****-****. (Did you think I would really give away any clues to my name/identity? You naughty children, you!)**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4 beckons you to read. And read you shall, children! Shout out to ErzaDreyar! KEEP BEING AWESOME!**_

The Big-top was even bigger than it appeared on the outside, much to Lucy's awe. Somehow, Eddie had managed to get front row seats, even though, logically speaking, they should have definitely sold out already. She shrugged it off, figuring it to be nothing more than a stroke of good fortune. As they sat down, a LOUD voice boomed over what Lucy assumed were loudspeakers.

"GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ARE YOU PREPARED TO WITNESS THE MAGIC OF CIRQUE DU FAIRY TAIL?" The owner of the voice had not appeared on stage yet, but I still had to cover my ears to keep them from exploding.

Eddie, however, seemed unfazed by the ear- shattering voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. In fact, she didn't even flinch, almost like she was used to the noise. Lucy yet again did not choose to delve too deep into the matter, because a human figure larger than three, or maybe even four (!) African elephants stomped into the tent and stood in the center ring. The only thing she could tell about him was that the giant was, of course, a giant, because his entire profile was immersed in shadows.

"HOW EXCITING TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE AUDIENCE ON OUR LAST DAY IN TOWN"

Several people around Lucy and Eddie were either screaming, wetting their pants, fainting, and a select few did all three. The giant grinned like the Cheshire Cat and continued speaking.

"OH I'M SORRY. COULD THIS FORM PERHAPS BE SCARING YOU?

Several people screamed their 'Hell Yeahs', and the giant somehow grinned even wider.

"IN THAT CASE, I MUST RECTIFY THAT NOW, SHOULN'T I?"

A continued chorus of 'Yeses!' immediately erupted from the stands. Still, he grinned wide enough to make Lucy worry that his face would split.

Then, the most amazing, unbelievable thing she had ever seen happened.

The giant started. To. Shrink.

The audience's screams were nothing compared to what they were now. They were witnessing something completely unnatural, and there was everything short of a riot.

When the former giant had finished shrinking, he was barely half the size of the average grown man. An assistant ran over to the now- midget and gave him a microphone. He adjusted his blue and orange hat, and spoke in a much quieter version of the giants' voice.

"Now, I bet you all are thinking that was a trick. A bit of slight- of- hand, correct? Well, that's too bad because YOU'RE WRONG! What you just saw was pure, unadulterated MAGIC."

A man from the crowd shouted, "There's no such thing as magic! Everyone knows that"

The little man turned towards the voice and said;

"No, I am quite right and before this show is over, you all will KNOW how right I am!" He turned and addressed the stands on the other side of the tent and spoke with his back to Lucy.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Master Makarov and I am the ringmaster of Cirque du Fairy Tail. One by one, you will meet my mages. I give you my children to watch and be enchanted with. Them and their magic." Makarov walked to a curtain opposite of the entrance Lucy and Eddie walked through.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…" He pulled back the curtain with a flip of his hand, not touching it at all "Gray Fullbuster, The Ice Mage!"

**************************************************************Timey- Wimey Skipskip!***

At the end of Erza Scarlet's act, Lucy was breathless. There was no way she could think of to create those acts using anything short of magic, and she had begun to believe what Makarov had said. Eddie, meanwhile, had not moved an inch since Makarov had first come in. She had just sat on the bench, leaning forward intently with the goofiest of grins on her face. Makarov had started to speak again, this time with much more relish than before.

"And now, the GRANDE FINALE! The Cirque's most stupendous, most impossible, and MOST MAGICAL of them all! Please welcome to the ring Natsu Dragneel, the Fire Breather!"

A familiar flash of pink sped from the curtain and skidded to a stop in the middle of the spotlight. He pumped his fists into the air, welcoming the deafening applause he was receiving. Natsu took the mic from the ringmaster.

"I'm all FIRED UP!" He shouted. Then, he tossed the mic back to Makarov. Exaggeratedly, he cracked his knuckles. In a burst of light, he was completely immersed in flames. The panicked crowd screamed. Natsu put his hands up, palms out, by his head, in an act to show that he was alright. Slowly, the crowd settled down once again. He then began his stupendous acts of magic.

First, he stacked his fisted hands-one on top of the other-and placed them over his mouth. He blew a column of fire out of the holes in his fists, and walked in a circle around the ring, lighting up strategically-placed torches, just a yard away from the audience. The crowd applauded louder than Lucy had ever heard before.

Fire around his body still blazing, he made several fireballs, which he promptly pitched to the audience. Fortunately for them, they disintegrated mere inches from audience members, close enough for them to feel the reality of his fire.

After about ten more minutes of more fiery tricks, Natsu took a bow, extinguished the flames surrounding himself, and….. Disappeared.

Lucy was just as confused as the other audience members were. After all, no one can just disappear into thin air. She was confused, that is, until she happened to look up.

She just barely caught Natsu's white scarf waving in a breeze on the highest rafter of the tent, his wide grin a barely discernable dot, due to the height. Somehow, she felt as though she was the one he was smiling at.

'Curiouser and curiouser...' Lucy thought.

Just as she looked back down, the male patron sitting next to her wondered what the blonde could have possibly been looking at and glanced up to find absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. At least, not any more.

Makarov spoke into the microphone, giving an ending speech that Lucy quite honestly had no interest in. She was far too immersed in her thoughts to care.

When he finished, everyone applauded and began to file out of the enormous tent. Eddie turned to Lucy, a look of satisfaction on her young face.

"I swear, even though it don't change up much, it gets better every time."

Now THIS interested Lucy.

"What do you mean? Just how many times have you seen this since it's been here?"

"All of 'em." Lucy raised an eyebrow.

"Devoted, aren't you?"

"You have no idea." Eddie said with a giggle.

The walked out of the tent, talking about who had the best act.

"It was Mirajane by far!" Eddie pouted.

"Nope. Natsu was the best!" Lucy challenged.

"Mirajane!"

"Natsu!"

"Mirajane!" Lucy was about to counter Eddie again, a rough, smoke scented hand clamped itself over her mouth and another one wrapped around her waist as she was pulled back into the semi-darkness of the big- top.

_**DON DON DON DOOOOONNNNNNNN! See how mean I can be? Now you have to wait for me to feel merciful! MWAH HAH HAH HAAAAAAAA!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Seeing as I have never been merciful in my life, I decided to write the chapter anyway. Grovel and worship in the form of reviews, please!**_

Lucy is now sure of one important fact: Her life sucks. First she ran away from a forced marriage, then she attacked an innocent 'pervert', after which she was run over by a pack of kids. And now, she was being kidnapped. She was slung over the shoulder the shoulder of what she had assumed was a man (After all, he was carrying her).

She had attempted escaping the abductor, but that idea soon went down the drain after she lost her energy from attempting to beat him up.

'If only I could get him to stop walking…' Lucy thought. As if he read her mind, the kidnapper stopped walking….. to pull back the curtain at the rear of the tent in order to walk through the entryway. Not nearly long enough for her to carry out her flimsy (And downright ridiculous) plan of kneeing him in the gut, him hopefully dropping her, and then Lucy would give him a piece of her almighty 'Lucy Kick 2.0: The Chain Attack'. Kind of prone to failure when the foe was seemingly impervious to pain.

Without warning, Lucy was dropped flat on her ass in what appeared to be a storage tent.

"Damn… you're heavy, Blondie. " A male voice stated. She whipped her head around to glare at the assailant-who for all she knew was about to rape her- and gasped when she found familiar black eyes watching her with humor reflecting within them.

"Damn… you're annoying, Pinkie." She deadpanned, returning the favor. Natsu covered his hair with his hands, as if shielding it from her words.

"It's not pink! It's SALMON." Lucy rolled her eyes, but then decided to move on to more pressing matters.

"Two things; One: It's pink, get over it. Two….. WHY THE HELL DID YOU FUCKING KIDNAP ME!?" She screamed.

"IT'S NOT PINK!"

"FOR ALL I CARE IT COULD BE GREEN! ANSWER THE OTHER QUESTION!" Natsu scratched his head, looking confused.

"What was it, again?"

"The. One. I. Fucking. SCREAMED AT YOU!" Lucy screeched the last sentence.

"Oh! THAT one! Gramps asked me to."

"Who…..?"

"The Master." Lucy was confused, but after a second, she had a clue of who Natsu was talking about.

"…..You mean Makarov...?"

"Whatever. The point is, he wanted to talk to you, and he asked me to get you." Lucy did not want to lose control again, but this guy was really pushing it.

"Did he say WHY he wanted you to kidnap me?"

"That's the thing. I don't know either. Also…. He kinda- sorta didn't mention anything about HOW he wanted me to get you to meet with him. Kidnapping you was completely my own idea." No doubt about it. Lucy was going to murder Natsu.

" Now, before I kick you from here to kingdom come, I want you tell me where I can find Makarov, if you please."

Natsu grinned. "Sure! He's in the big red tent right next door. You can't miss it!"

It was now Lucy's turn to smile. "Thank you. You have been very helpful."

"Oh, than-" Before Natsu could finish his response, Lucy kept her word, and all that was left of him was a large, Natsu-sized hole on the top of the storage tent. That, and his girlish screams rapidly fading into the distance.

Satisfied, Lucy turned on her heels and stomped out of the tent, thinking of all the nasty things she would be saying to the midget/ giant ringmaster.

A few steps and several curses later, she stood in front of the entrance to the Master's tent. Lucy took a deep, calming breath, and stalked inside.

_**Whew! For such a short chapter, that was hard to write. To all my avid readers, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR NOT UPDATING YESTERDAY! THERE IS NO EXCUSE BUT I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU ONE ANYWAY! I WAS ABSOLUTELY SWAMPED WITH HOMEWORK AND OTHER EXTRA- CURRICULER SHIT! I don't deserve it, but PLEASE R&amp;R! I like reading reviews, and if they were to stop, I WOULD LOSE ALL MOTIVATION! My beautiful Cirque would be DISCONTINUED! IT WOULD TURN INTO ONE OF THE MANY STORIES THAT NO ONE EVER READS DUE THE FACT THAT IT'S NOT FINISHED! **__**DO YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN?!**_

_** I didn't think so.**_


	6. Authors Note: I hate French

_**I am so depressed. A person told me that there is an error in my beautiful Cirque's title. Apparently, it should be Cirque **__**DE**__** Fairy Tail, not Cirque **__**DU**__** Fairy Tail. Should I change it? Tell me your thoughts… whilst I go weep in the corner. REVIEW!**_


	7. Chapter 6

_**Hello,**** children. As you might have guessed, I had a small emotional breakdown in the previous A/N. I'm just so SAD. Please, read and review to pull me out of my misery. (I HATE FRENCH. WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST SPEAK THE KING'S ENGLISH? IT WOULD MAKE HIGHSCHOOLERS EVERYWHERE MUCH HAPPIER. IT WOULD MAKE **__**ME**__** MUCH HAPPIER. IT WOULD…. *Ahem* *Straightens Hair* I apologize. CARRY ON, MY LOVELIES!)**_

Lucy had been having quite the crappy day, to her dismay. She simply could not catch a break. She had had enough of kicking perverts and morons in the head. It was time to bring out the REALLY big guns.

As she stalked into Makarov's tent, she knocked over a large pile of books. One particular book's title caught her attention.

'The Theorem and Studies of Fiore's Mages…. That doesn't sound cultish at all…' Lucy thought.

What she really wanted, though, was to kick the Ringmaster's ass. Lucy really wanted some answers. Such as, 'Why the flying fuck did you send that moron to kidnap me instead of someone who actually had a few neurons to connect.' While she was thinking over what she was going to say, a small, annoying voice decided to pop up.

"Come oooonnnnn, Lucy….. He might be a moron, but he's a HOT moron." Lucy groaned. Her favorite little Antichrist was once again reminding Lucy that she still had a bad side.

"Go away."

"Is that any way to treat a friend?"

"No. Then again, you're not my friend."

"I'm wounded. Anyway, what's up with this Natsu guy, huh? You like him or something?" Lucy's face immediately heated up at the little devil's insinuation.

"Sh… Shut up…." She stuttered.

"Oh. Em. Gee. I was totally right! You've got the hots for a circus clown!" The miniature Beelzebub guffawed.

"He's not a clown! He's a fire breather!"

"So… you're defending the 'Fire Breather', even when he kidnapped you?" That shut Lucy up. The devil decided to get even cheekier.

"Admit it. You wanna screw him." Lucy's face turned red and she spluttered again, but this time, it wasn't out of embarrassment.

"Oh, IT'S ON, BITCH!" She began shouting several streams of curses at her own evil conscience. Lo and behold, Makarov chose that exact moment to walk in on Lucy. He sweatdropped at the noisy spectacle of Lucy arguing with herself, and then cleared his throat to alert her of his presence. Lucy turned to face him, and the mini devil dissipated with the words 'This will continue later…..Prude.'

"I am NOT a prude" Lucy hissed, determined to get in the final word. The devil's giggle echoed in her mind, and then it was completely gone.

Lucy turned to Makarov and smiled sheepishly at his bewildered expression.

"Please, for the sake of my dignity, do NOT ask me what that was. Pretty please?" Lucy begged. Makarov nodded, but only because he most likely did not want to know anyway.

"Now…" Makarov sat in a large wooden chair with faded red cushions, and looked at Lucy intensely. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but I would first like to explain why I asked you here…."

**_*WHOOP there it is, dawg.* Chapter 6, a very short, tiny chapter, but I think it was pretty good. BUT WHO CARES?! I'M JUST THE AUTHOR! ALL THAT MATTERS IS WHAT YOU BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE THINK! NOW I MUST GO TO SLEEP! TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL, I HAVE ONE WHOLE WEEK OFF OF SCHOOL TO DELIVER MORE CHAPTERS TO YOU! SHOOT THE GUY WHO CAME UP WITH SCHOOL, BUT KISS THE FEET OF WHOEVER COUNTERATTACKED WITH VACATIONS! *Maniacal Laughter, fading into nothingness* I shall see you soon, my children. Rest well, and don't even THINK about the zombie apocalypse. *EVIL GRIN*_**


	8. Chapter 7

_**Children, I just wanted you to know… I'M FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I'M FREE AT LAST! Read and review, pleeeaaassee…..**_

Lucy was perplexed. VERY perplexed. An air of shocked silence seemed to radiate within the Ringmaster's tent.

"I'm sorry. I believe I didn't hear you right. WHAT do you want me to do again?"

Makarov sighed. He didn't like repeating himself, but he decided to do it anyway.

"Lucy, for the last time, I would like you to join Cirque du Fairy Tail."

(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O)- FLASHBACK-(O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)

Lucy stood as calmly as she could in front of Makarovs chair, which wasn't very calm, being as this was the man who ordered her 'kidnapping.' She was waiting for him to give her an acceptable excuse, was more like it. Makarov cleared his throat, and then began to explain it to her.

"I had asked Natsu to convince you to come here-"

"Hold it. You mean you told him to kidnap me." Lucy interjected.

Makarov looked confused. "What do you mean, 'kidnapped?'" Lucy huffed.

"By kidnapped, I mean he just grabbed me from the crowd, and carried me back here fireman style, kicking and screaming." The Master paled, and then pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"I'm going to have a long talk with that child. In the very near future."

Suddenly, there was the sound of rapidly tearing thread coming from the canopy of the tent, and then large, blurred object fell to the floor, creating a fog of dirt and dust. As it cleared, a stunned looking Natsu was revealed sitting upright with his legs sprawled out before him. He was clutching his nose, apparently trying to staunch the flow of a nosebleed. Lucy smirked at Makarov.

"Well Master, it seems it's 'the very near future.'"

"Oh, furbulous." Natsu said, his voice garbled due to the hand clamped over his nose. It was only then he noticed Lucy and Makarov. The master was staring at him with wide eyes, while Lucy was smirking at the hole in the canopy. Natsu pointed at Lucy with his free hand at Lucy while glaring at her accusingly.

"You," He growled "Awe VEWWY violend." His voice was still garbled. Lucy looked at him and smiled her sweetest, most cavity-inducing smile while innocently batting her eyelashes.

"Who, me?"

"YES!"

"There are four words that I live by that I think you would find very interesting, my dear hothead."

"And whad awe dose?!"

"Justice is not blind."

"You call kigging me halfway thwough the stwadosphere JUSTICE?!"

"Actually….. Yes."

"Ooooooh, what I wouldn't give to send YOU thwough the-"

"BE SILENT, NATSU!" Makarov shouted. Natsu complied surprisingly quickly, much to Lucy's amazement. Makarov stood up from his chair and walked toward Natsu. With each step he took, the Master grew about a foot. When he reached Natsu, he was nearly ten feet taller than he was when he had begun walking.

"Lucy has just been telling me about how you dragged her here, instead of politely asking her to meet with me. What is your excuse, I wonder." Natsu smiled meekly at Makarov, looking him straight in the eye. At least, he was trying to. It proved quite difficult to look someone in the eye who was nearly fourteen feet tall. Lucy gawked, but wasn't all that surprised by the Masters' change in height. In fact, while watching the act, she had been one of the few people who had deemed the show for what it really was: Magical. His nose must have stopped bleeding, because both of his hands were at his sides, propping him up. Natsu then gave his reason for grabbing Lucy.

"It seemed like a waste of time." Natsu mumbled, attempting to sound brave. And failing. "I figured since it was YOU that wanted to talk to her, it must have been important, so I just thought, 'Screw it,' and I grabbed her." He shrugged.

"NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Makarov yelled. He lifted his foot, and brought it down on the childish man's head. The hard dirt made a loud cracking noise as Natsu's head went right through it, face-first. Not surprisingly, that put him out cold.

Makarov dusted himself off, and then shrank himself back down to his midgety size. He strode back to his chair and sat down in it. He caught Lucy looking worriedly as Natsu's twitching prostrate form.

"He'll be fine." He said. "Gonna have one hell of a headache when he wakes up, though." Makarov chuckled, and then grew serious again.

"Back to the business of why I wanted you here." Lucy turned to Makarov to listen.

"While you were watching the act, little Eddie sitting next to you."

"Wait. You know Eddie?"

"Of course. She's been traveling with the Cirque since she was a small child."

'Well, that's one mystery solved.' Lucy thought.

"Anyway, she has a… talent… of being able to find people who are compatible with Lacrima. And while you were watching the act, she signaled me about you."

"What? Compatible? Lacrima? Signal? I'm lost."

"Right. Lacrima is a crystal that contains extremely high concentrations of different magical powers. Did you notice Eddie wearing a necklace with a bright blue gemstone?" As a matter of fact, she had noticed. Lucy just didn't think too highly of it, like several other things. Lucy nodded at Makarov, after thinking for a second.

"I figured you had. You may not have noticed, but everyone else at the Cirque was wearing similar necklaces as well. Then again, a lot of the men DO keep them out of sight." Makarov pulled a crystal almost identical to the one that Lucy had seen on Eddie out from under his shirt. She stepped forward to inspect it more closely. When looking carefully, it appeared to pulse with blue light.

"My Lacrima gives me my ability to change my size and carry out Fairy Law. The moron over there has control over fire, but he has to eat fire to power his magic. And Eddie can just tell who is compatible with the Lacrima."

"I understand, but what is Fairy Law?" Makarov put the Lacrima back inside his shirt and gave her an intense look.

"That is something I sincerely hope neither you nor anyone else in Cirque du Fairy Tail will ever have to find out." Lucy decided not to press him. Oh yes, she was bursting with curiosity, but something about the way Makarov had said it made it seem….. morbid.

"So… what does it mean when you say I'm 'compatible' with it? The Lacrima, I mean."

"It means you have magic within you." (_**A/N:**_ _**Boy, that escalated quickly**_)

"I thought the magic was in the Lacrima." Inside her mind, Lucy was trying to process what the Master had just said, but outside, Lucy was as calm as ever.

"No. They just unlock your ability to use your magic."

"Makes sense."

"There is one last thing about the Lacrima. If you lose it or it's stolen, it cannot be replaced. One mage gets one Lacrima in their lifetime, no exceptions. However, if the mage dies, the Lacrima can then be used by another mage has not bonded with a Lacrima yet. Any questions, Lucy?"

"Yeah. Why are you telling me all of this? Shouldn't this sort of be kept secret from outsiders?" Makarov facepalmed.

"Dammit. I forgot to ask you." He said, with his hand still over his face.

"Ask me what?" Lucy cautiously inquired.

"I forgot to ask her. I can't believe I forgot to ask her."

"ASK ME WHAT?" Makarov took his hand away from his face, and solemnly looked at Lucy, tension thick within the air around the old Master.

"Ask you if you wanted to stop being one of the 'outsiders', as you so aptly put it." Lucy gulped.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm asking you to join the Cirque."

(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O(O)- END FLASHBACK-(O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)O)

Lucy quickly weighed her options: On one hand, she could call him crazy and run screaming from the tent. On the other, she could decide to believe him, accept his offer, and lead the exciting life of a circus performer.

It was no contest.

Lucy took a deep breath, and said the words sure to change her life forever.

"I'll do it."

_**What you see before you, dear reader, is the SINGLE LONGEST PIECE OF WRITING I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE! And it took up a huge portion of my lifespan, too. Four hours. IT TOOK FOUR HOURS FOR ME TO WRITE THIS. THIS IS HOW COMMITED I AM TO MY CHILDREN. I shall now shut up and I shall see you in Chapter 8. R&amp;R, MY LOVELIES! NEXT CHAPTER IS MOST LIKELY GOING TO BE SHORT!**_


	9. Chapter 8

_**This is gonna be a short one. Sorry, loves. R&amp;R, please? Motivation is needed right now…**_

Makarov sighed, in what was obviously relief.

"Good that is very good. Now, Lucy…" The old Master hopped down from his chair. He walked over to one of the many bookshelves, and walked up what looked like a stepladder made from a stack of books. He skimmed over the titles of books on the third shelf down, and then grabbed a book from near the right end. He blew a thick layer of dust off of it, which caused him to sneeze. He walked back down, and set the selected book on an end table next to Lucy, which was – to her shock- completely devoid of any other books.

Makarov lifted the book cover, and Lucy saw that the book had been hollowed out to hold a smallish box, simply carved out of cherry wood with a golden lock. The Master lifted the box out of the book, took a golden key out of his pocket, and unlocked the box. He opened it to reveal a pouch of purple velvet. He removed the pouch, and then gently, one by one, Makarov took seven Lacrima crystals and their respective necklaces out of the velvet and placed them on the table. He then stepped back, and then looked at a stunned Lucy.

"Pick your Lacrima. Don't just choose the biggest or the prettiest, choose the one that calls to you." Lucy felt, for some reason, like she was under a huge amount of pressure. And she didn't like pressure. Not one bit.

Lucy looked at the crystals, but none of them felt right. She was about to turn to the Master and tell him so, but then the Lacrima farthest from her caught her eye. She looked closer at it, and she knew it was the one. It was smaller than the rest of the Lacrima, but it shone much brighter in Lucy's eyes, as if it was saying 'Come to me. I'm the one you want. I am yours, so come to me.' She picked up the crystal by its thin golden chain, and marveled at it. Lucy softly touched the Lacrima that was hanging from her hand, and felt an instant connection. There was no way she would ever change her mind, even if she could. Silently, she bonded with the Lacrima that was now hers. Lucy felt a connection stronger than anything she had ever felt before forge itself within her mind, body, and soul. There was no going back.

"Damn, my head hurts….." A muffled voice moaned.

Lucy turned around, still holding up the Lacrima, to face the person the voice had originated from. Sure enough, Natsu had woken up ahead of schedule. He lifted his head out of the crater in the ground, and blinked rapidly as his eyes adjusted to the bright colors of the twilight and the light of the few candles that had been lit around the tent. His eyes settled on Lucy, and then they widened to the size of dinner plates when he focused on her hand. Actually, he didn't give a shit about her hand. All he cared about was what she was HOLDING in her hand. Natsu put two and two together, and he figured out why Gramps had wanted to talk to Lucy. Then came the dawning realization that he was now permanently stuck with the girl that had kicked him sky-high.

"No. Fucking. Way." He growled. After he finished voicing his displeasure ('Displeasure' being a MAJOR understatement) he passed out cold again, and his face fell back into the head-sized crater, leaving Lucy with a string of insults directed towards Natsu stuck on the tip of her tongue.

She turned to Makarov to comment on Natsu's behavior, but his expression stopped her dead in her tracks. He was staring at the Lacrima, his face pale and his lips moving without any words coming out. His hands were trembling, and his eyes were bugging out of his head. He then proceeded to start hyperventilating, and Lucy finally jolted out of her shock and ran to help the Master, asking him if he was all right. His eyes followed the Lacrima all the way. Makarov started speaking, but he was just repeating the same two sentences over and over and over again.

"…That stone. The power. That stone. The power. That stone…"

Lucy came to the conclusion that there was only one thing she could do. She didn't want to, but she felt it had to be done. She took a deep breath, drew her hand back, and smacked the Master as hard as she could across the face.

The old man shuddered, and he then looked Lucy dead in the eye.

"Thank you." Makarov frankly stated.

"Pardon me, but I simply have to ask. What the Hell was that about?"

The Master took a deep breath, and waited a moment before he spoke.

"That Lacrima you selected….."

"…Yes? What about it?"

"… It belonged to Mavis Vermilion, the first and most powerful Ringmaster of Cirque du Fairy Tail."

_**That was longer than I envisioned it to be, but oh well…**_ _**And for**_ _**the strangest of reasons, I keep hearing the dying screams of readers when they finish each chapter of my story only to find a cliffhanger. Strange, isn't it? As a great one once said, 'Curiouser and curiouser…'**_

_** Review my children! Leave nothing of your thoughts out!**_

_** Sleep well, my lovelies. And don't even THINK of psychotic serial killers with hockey masks climbing through all of your bedroom windows *EVIL LAUGHTER AND CHAIN SAWS REVVING*. Sweet dreams…..**_


	10. Chapter 9

_**Hello, my children! A lovely, dreary fog has settled in today, so be on the lookout for zombies. **__**They could be anywhere**__**… R&amp;R, if you please.(^u^)**_

Natsu's POV (Sorta kinda little bit not really… no.)

Natsu could not believe it. He could not. Fucking. Believe it. That chick had somehow wormed her way into the Cirque, and to top it all off, he had to be the one to train her in the art of magic.

'Just my life' He thought bitterly as he walked through the rows of tents that housed Fairy Tail's mages with Lucy trailing closely behind. She looked around, fascinated with things that Natsu had always found normal.

'She looks pretty cute right now, seeing as she's not trying to kill us anymore' Natsu's inner devil thought. Before it could get another word in, Natsu squashed the voice out of existence for now, a skill that he had mastered a short time ago.

"Not today, you little bastard." He muttered under his breath. Lucy had picked up on his remark, and momentarily stepped out of her reverie.

"Huh? Did you say something, Natsu?" She asked.

"Nope." He said matter-of-factly. Natsu absolutely did NOT want another kick in the head. Especially one he didn't particularly deserve.

Besides, she was an enemy. Someone who would be entertaining to defeat but not too easy like Ice Princess. He could tell that she had a much stronger will than Gray, but she also had something that Gray most likely would never get, and that was dignity. Lucy was chock-full of it.

"Hurry it up, Luce."

"Who are you calling Luce?" She demanded.

"You. Now move it along, 'cause you'll be seeing all this pretty much every day from now on." Natsu smirked when he saw her puff up with anger, all of it without an outlet, and he could guess who that outlet would wind up being.

He had just taken up a defensive stance when a little girl called out to him.

"Natsuuu!" Eddie ran up to him and held out her arms, as if expecting a hug. With Lucy forgotten, he bent down, picked Eddie up, and swung her around in full circle. When he came to a stop, he was facing a surprised Lucy.

"You know Eddie too?" She inquired.

"Of course!" Natsu said, while him and Eddie both grinned very similarly at her.

"She's my daughter!"

_**HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA! Just when you thought I had reached rock bottom of the pit of Evilness, I pulled out a shovel and a stick of dynamite! Review! And a message for Gothic Bananas…. I look forward to your long string of pissed–off PM's I am sure to be seeing veeerrrry soon…..**_


	11. Chapter 10

_**I shall now (sort of) end your misery, my sweetlings. Remember, write me LOTS AND LOTS of juicy reviews, or I might add another cliffhanger just like the last one….. and I WILL, too. You SHOULD be scared.**_

"…EEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH?!" Lucy shrieked. She was not ready for that. Anyone would have needed some mental preparation before that bomb could be dropped.

Out of the blue, a hand belonging to a pretty white-haired mage smacked Natsu upside the head. Coincidentally, it happened to skillfully strike Natsu's head injury. He grasped his head in pain and turned to the snowy beauty.

"Dammit Mirajane! What did I do?!"

The woman-Mirajane-huffed in annoyance.

"I thought we had gotten that idea out of your head!"

"Why can't I call Eddie my daughter?! I raised her, you know!" He cried.

"WE ALL RAISED HER! NOT JUST YOU!"

"Um… excuse me?..." Both mages turned to look at a very confused (And still pretty shocked) Lucy, who was wringing her hands in curiosity. Mirajane smiled warmly at Lucy, while Natsu glared at both of the females.

"Don't mind Natsu. He likes to boast around about his 'adoptive daughter'." Mirajane made air quotes at the last statement, and Lucy was still confused.

"So Eddie's not…. You know?"

"Dear God no. She's an orphan that had stowed away on the Circus train when she was four. " Mirajane reassured her. "But they both certainly act like father and daughter, though. A bit too much, in fact." The mage glanced at Eddie, who was grinning at Natsu with his own trademark smirk. They were laughing at something one of them had said. Mira shook her head.

"She's picked up on his personality, and that's something we have been trying to change. At least, when we can separate them for more than thirty seconds." Lucy released a breath that she didn't know she had been holding.

'So he's not her father. That's a relief… Wait. WHY AM I RELIEVED?!' Lucy inwardly shrieked.

"The answer is simple: You wanna do him." Lucy's Antichrist said.

'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' Lucy thought/screamed at the devil.

"Fine. You'll miss me, though…" It said as it disappeared.

Lucy looked at Natsu again, but he wasn't there. Neither was Eddie.

"Mirajane, where did Natsu go?" Lucy asked. The mage snapped her head up, and her face went as white as her hair.

"Oh dear…" Mira sighed. As if in response, a series of crashes shook the whole of the camp. Lucy looked at Mira, silently asking her what had just happened. Mira just shook her head at Lucy, and answered the question that was hanging in the air.

"Natsu and Gray are going at it again." She stated, as if it was perfectly normal that they sounded like they were destroying the camp.

Mira started jogging towards the source of the destruction, with Lucy following close behind, wondering how Mirajane could run in a floor-length dress.

**********************Time Skip: 2 minutes**********************

Natsu shouted at Gray while he gave him a swift blow to the gut with his fist.

"Still think you can take me, Ice Princess?! I could reduce you to a puddle of steaming water right now!" He turned to Eddie.

"You know I'm gonna win, right?"

"AYE!" She cried, giving him an extra wide grin, showing both rows of her teeth.

Natsu gave and then he definitely got, as Gray gave Natsu a sharp right hook to his jaw.

"I'm just toying with you, Flamebrain!" Gray countered. Just then, Mira skidded to a stop in the clearing surrounded by tents, with a winded Lucy following close behind.

Right then, Erza Scarlet also entered, but she pushed through the onlooking mages that were either cheering for a side or placing bets on the winner. Most of them got out of the way of the redheads rampage, but an unlucky few hadn't seen her coming and were quickly removed by means of violence better not mentioned.

When she reached the brawling boys, Erza grabbed Natsu by the back of his vest and Gray by the hair-because he was shirtless, as per the norm- and then proceeded to knock their heads together.

Natsu had enough head injuries for one day, and he didn't need another one. He slid to the ground, clutching his head and moaning in agony while Gray did the same, but on a smaller scale.

Erza was pissed. Really pissed, and even the newcomer Lucy knew that shit was about to go down.

"How can NAKAMA fight like this?! You two are acting like children!" She scolded, looking down at the cowering boys.

"You two. Make up right now." She said menacingly. The boys exchanged apologies that everyone knew they didn't mean while still kneeling on the ground, facing a satisfied Erza.

"That's better. NOW WHERE CAN I FIND SOME GOD DAMNED CAKE?!" Erza stomped through the parted crowd on her new mission, while Juvia Lockseer- another girl that Lucy recognized from the main act-stepped forward to help Gray up. He flinched from her touch; as if her hands were either really cold or she seriously freaked him out. From his expression, Lucy guessed it was probably the latter.

After Gray was standing, Juvia turned to Natsu, and glared at him coldly.

"Juvia knows that Gray-sama would have won if Erza hadn't stepped in" She spoke, referring to herself in third person, which Lucy found quite disturbing. "Gray-sama would have pummeled you to the ground."

"Oh, please…" Eddie said. "Natsu had him. A few more minutes and your sweet 'Gray-sama' would have been KO."

"You're both wrong. I could put both of them on their asses in two seconds flat." Laxus stated, with his three followers nodding in agreement with their arms folded over their chests.

Juvia was offended, and she was determined not to let Gray appear weak. So, Juvia took what Laxus said as a challenge.

"JUVIA WILL DEFEND GRAY-SAMA'S HONOR! JUVIA WILL FIGHT FOR HER GRAY-SAMA!" She let fly a water sphere that smacked Laxus upside his head and soaked his clothes. His companions stood shocked for a few seconds before turning to Juvia and glaring at her with malice. Fried unsheathed his katana, Evergreen put her hand up to her glasses as if to take them off, and Bickslow brought out his possessed dolls, or his 'babies', as he called them during his act. They all looked to Laxus for permission, but he waved them off with a soaked hand.

Juvia, sensing that she was in some serious trouble, created a waterlock around herself.

"HA HA! JUVIA'S WATERLOCK IS IMPERMEABLE! THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO JUVIA!" Laxus raised an eyebrow at the questionably insane girl, and then he got an equally questionable idea.

With a bored look, he made small spark of electricity between his thumb and forefinger. When it grew to around the size of a ping-pong ball, he flicked it towards Juvia and her waterlock. As it made contact, the waterlock absorbed the energy. The waterlock sparked with electricity and then collapsed, evaporating into steam. Juvia was reduced to a twitching mass on the ground, with tiny little sparks of electricity surfacing every once in a while. This action started an uproar among the former onlookers, and soon everyone was fighting. Natsu and Gray had gotten up again and restarted their fight, and simultaneously punched Elfman when he tried to break it up. Afterwards, he also joined the fray_**. (A/N: *Sweatdrop*) **_The only person who wasn't fighting yet was Cana the fortune teller, Lucy, Mirajane and Eddie. Of course, Cana was too busy drinking to fight, and so she didn't' really count in anyone's opinion.

Makarov, who had been standing at the entrance of the clearing and had seen everything, rapidly grew to around forty feet. He stepped over the crowd and stood in the center of said clearing.

"CUT IT OUT, YOU FOOLS!" The master shouted in his large voice. Everyone immediately stopped fighting, but Natsu, with his love of winning, of course did the stupidest thing he could possibly do.

"HAHAHA! YOU ALL STOPPED FIGHTING! THIS MATCH IS MY WI-" Before he could finish his sentence, Makarov's foot- for the second time that day-came down on him like divine judgment. But since the foot was bigger in size, it was a full-body slam, not just the head.

'Ooooooh… That's GOT to sting.' Lucy thought, feeling almost pity for the poor, dumb bastard.

Seeing that there was no one else to contradict him, the Master shrank back down to his normal(?) size.

"Now that I FINALLY have everyone's attention, I can announce that the Cirque has a new mage joining its ranks."

The mages began chatting excitedly among themselves, as it was extremely rare for a new member to join. Members were usually born into Cirque du Fairy Tail, with the last exception being Eddie three years prior.

"Our new member… Lucy!" Makarov gestured at her, and she felt herself freeze. Everyone was staring at her expectantly, and she had absolutely no idea what to do. Their eyes burned holes right through her, and she did not like it. Not one bit. It reminded her of when she was still at the mansion, and she was just a doll in a display case, to be perfect forever, her only future to be stared at and admired, to be fiercely criticized over the smallest imperfect detail... And to be thrown away when she was deemed useless.

Mirajane, sensing her distress, came to her rescue and rushed over to the Master. She whispered something to him, and he nodded in what Lucy thought to be agreement. The white- haired mage grabbed Lucy's arm and rushed her away. The crowd parted, but still watched. Mira tried scaring off the stares that Lucy received, but that soon proved to be too large of a task. She reduced it to sending wicked looks to men who stared too long at certain improper parts of Lucy's anatomy.

"Come on. I'll show you where your tent is" Mira told Lucy after they were out of sight of the crowd.

After the crowd had deemed themselves safe from Mirajane's cold looks, they continued to chatter about the newcomer. All except Cana who, amazingly, never stopped drinking from her keg of who-knows-what type of alcohol.

Natsu had almost completely recovered from Makarov's blow, so he stumbled over to Eddie, who smirked at him with childish glee(_**A/N: The one that tips you off that they may or may not have put something long and slimy that they may or may not have dug up in the garden into your spaghetti. Maybe.**_).

"So what did you think of that battle, Happy?" He asked as he ruffled her medium length light-blue hair. She brushed his hand away, annoyed that he had once again called her by the pet name that she constantly expressed her hatred over.

"Don't call me that." She said for the umpteenth time.

"Sure, sure." Natsu said, also for the umpteenth time.

"You would have won if Gramps hadn't stopped you, though" She replied to his earlier question.

"Damn straight." At once, several fists punched Natsu in the head. He collapsed in pain as stars seemed to explode in his eyes from the reintroduction of multiple head wounds. This was not his day.

"WHAT THE HELL DID I DO NOW?!" He shouted at his abusers.

"STOP SWEARING IN FRONT OF THE KID!" They shouted back.

_**Done. Oh my God it's finally done, my lovelies. I've been working on this for twelve hours. Does that even compute to any of you? TWELVE HOURS OF MY DAMNED EXISTENCE ALL FOR MY BEAUTIFUL READERS. IT'S FRICKIN' MIDNIGHT HERE! THAT'S MY DEVOTION TO MY CHILDREN, SO SHOW ME YOUR DEVOTION AND GIVE ME SOME REVIEWS! Please? **_

_** To Gothic Bananas: HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAH! As predicted, I got some very creative death threats from you. I might just use some of those sometime.**_

_** To ErzaDreyar: I hope you feel better! I missed your encouragement whilst you were dying to death in bed. If you are in school and you got to miss some due to impending death, I envy you. If not… *places hand on your shoulder* I'm so sorry for your loss of the weekend. I know how that feels, and it don't feel like sunshine and daisies.**_

_** Goodnight my children. I might not live through the night, you know. As we speak, Gothic Bananas is sharpening her vast collection of sharp, pointy things. Just saying. In case she's serious, I leave all my manga to be divided evenly among every otaku at school but her. Because, you know, I tend to hold grudges against people that kill me in my sleep. I'm fickle that way...**_


	12. Chapter 11

_**Guess what? I'm feeling pretty morbid today, so there won't be as many funny parts to the story as there have been. At least, probably not in this chapter…**_

_**And Yes children, I did make Happy a human girl. What do you want me to do? Apologize? Sorry, sweetlings. I don't bend under pressure. Not anymore. R&amp;R, if you please. (Also, due to circumstances beyond my control, there might not be any lemons. If you want to tell me what a bitch I am, please review or PM Twisted Sonnet.) FML….**_

_** "**_Here's your tent." Mirajane gestured to a canvas tent. It was a neutral beige color and the same size as almost all of the other tents, so Lucy figured that she would be getting lost quite a bit in the future.

"We're going to stay an extra day tomorrow to pack up and load the train, so you'll only be in here for one night. See you tomorrow, Lucy." Mira waved to the blonde and then sauntered off. Lucy watched her for only a moment, and then rushed into her new quarters. She picked up a candle and holder (The candle was already lit) and frantically began searching.

She looked around the tent for one object in particular, and she didn't find it immediately, much to her dismay. She had to search all over the tent and then finally got the brains to look under the only piece of furniture in there.

Lucy's backpack was resting below the cot, and she grabbed at it like it contained a precious secret. And a secret it did keep. The new mage pulled out the mahogany box that was one of the few things she had packed when she ran away from home. Picking up a piece of paper and a pencil, she began to write a long letter.

When it was finished, Lucy sealed the letter in an envelope, addressed it, and placed in the box along with dozens more envelopes with the same address.

Lucy walked over to the flap of the tent to watch the moon rise. One by one, lights within the tents surrounding hers blinked into darkness. After a short while, Lucy's did the same.

_**-The Continual Passing of Time has just been sped up. Eight hours have come and gone.-**_

In the morning, an unrested Lucy woke from a less-than-pleasant dream consisting of her father and bloody roses. The sound of snoring had pulled her from the nightmare, for which she was more than grateful. But Lucy found it weird. She didn't think that she snored. And she KNEW that nobody snored when they were awake.

After waking up a bit more, she pieced together the puzzle and looked over the edge of the cot. There, she saw both Natsu and Eddie splayed on the floor, snoring like drunkards. As if that wasn't enough, they were both drooling. She had to stop herself from killing them on sight, but even that was unbelievably difficult, especially with Natsu. Eddie could be condoned, but Natsu had become fair game the second he had come into the tent.

Lucy thought for a second about how to rectify the situation, and then she decided on one of her favorite methods. She stood up on the cot and put herself into position over Natsu.

"BODY SLAM!" She dove onto the dozing fire mage, with her elbow gouging into the small area between the bottom of his ribcage and his stomach. She cried out in pain, it felt like she had hit iron with her elbow, and Lucy then doubted she would ever regain the ability to use her right arm.

"How the fuck can anyone's abs be that hard?!" Lucy shouted in a blind rage.

Natsu's eyes blinked open, and then he frowned at the seething blonde.

"Do you have any idea what a turn-off it is to wake up to your screaming?" He asked blandly. Lucy gaped.

'And he didn't even FEEL it?! That's just not right.' She sulked her way to him and showed him her already bruised elbow. His eyes widened in shock.

"Damn, Luce! How the hell did that happen?"

"YOU DUMB OAF! DON'T YOU KNOW WHEN TO STOP EXCERCIZING?!" Lucy let off steam for several minutes and after she finished, both she and Natsu turned to find a groggy Eddie sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Did I miss something?"

_** Short shorty short short! I am displeased. The next chapter will be longer. MUCH longer.**_

_** Shout out to lilpumpkingirl. At least SOMEONE was kind enough to write a VERY nice review for me. Everyone is now required to give her some private messages in which you are kissing her feet and worshipping the cybernet she treads upon. Seriously. This child is the only reason this story is continuing. Without her, this story would be DEAD. FINITO. CAPUT. MORTE. Chew on that, my lovelies. Give lilpumpkingirl a cookie. And a hug. And your undying love.**_

_** Yet another shout out: Thanks for the shout outs, Gothic Bananas. Remember: I know where you live. Have fun trying to sleep tonight (^u^). And guess what? Yeah, keep guessing. If you enjoy Vocaloid, GO READ THIS CHILD'S STORY! It's a very good read for all the sadists of the world. The title is: 'When the New Girl Comes'. You must read other stories whilst I write the chapters for my beautiful Cirque!**_

_** One more Shout Out: lilpumpkingirl. Yeah. That's correct, my children. She not only gets one shout out, but TWO. She's that awesome.**_

_** Guess whaaaaaaat? I'm writing another FanFic! *Yaaay* It's gonna be a one shot. And also, much to my despair, a SONGFIC. *Thunder crash*. **_

_** Till next we meet, my lovelies!**_

_** Twisted Sonnet (^v^)**_


	13. Chapter 12

_***GRRRRRRR* I hate my mother! She has done all of these three things:**_

_** 1\. Shut down the computer!**_

_** 2\. Put a password lock on it!**_

_**3\. Sworn fealty to the Nazi party! (Not really, but still...)**_

_**When she shut down my computer….. ALL OF MY DRAFTS WERE ON IT! AND SHE KNEW I HAD SOME PRETTY IMPORTANT SHIT ON THOSE FILES! I HAD TO HACK JUST TO CREATE A NEW ACOUNT SO THAT I COULD TYPE UP A NEW CHAPTER FOR YOU!**_

_**So if anyone else dares to call me lazy for not posting chapters, I will hunt you down and strangle you to death with your own innards. (^u^) Now doesn't that sound pleasant?**_

_**Enough from me! On with the chapter! (R&amp;R, please….)**_

Lucy had just had the experience of a lifetime. Breakfast at the Cirque was apparently one of the least eventful times of the day (According to Mirajane), but to Lucy, she had never seen anything so wild and out of control. She walked out of the 'Chow Tent', as it was dubbed, and had just gotten over the shock of the chaos within that still showed no signs of stopping.

'Who knew that Eddie's weak spot is fish?' She grinned at the thought of the girl wolfing down the white meat at the speed of light.

'She's almost like a cat….'

"Yo, Luce! We gotta start your training!" Out of habit, the blonde turned and socked Natsu in his nearest body part. Unfortunately, that body part was his stomach…

"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!" Lucy screamed, apparently having not learned from her last mishap. Natsu looked at her with a confused look, as if he was turning over a question in his mind. He soon gave up and asked anyway.

"Why did you try to hit me, Luce?" Lucy went to punch him again, but luckily caught herself. She took a moment to attempt to reign in her anger. When that failed, she resorted to yelling at him once again.

"I didn't TRY to hit you. I DID HIT YOU. AGAIN!"

"Hey, why do you like yelling so much? Doesn't your throat get sore after a while?" He asked, as innocently as he could.

"Yeah. Every time we see Lucy, she's either yelling or sleeping." Eddie walked over to them, chewing on yet another piece of grilled fish. She finished in seconds, and started licking her fingers.

'A cat indeed…' Lucy confirmed. Then, what Natsu had said earlier began to sink in.

"What do you mean, 'start my training'?"

_**-The Continual Passing of Time has been sped up. Fifteen minutes have passed. You're Welcome…-**_

"Luce what do you mean you haven't put on your Lacrima yet?!" Natsu asked for what seemed like the tenth time (In truth, it was only the fifth or sixth).

"Exactly that. Now stop asking me that and tell me what crime I've committed exactly?" Lucy was beginning to get annoyed. 'What's so wrong with not putting it on?' She wondered.

Natsu turned to Eddie and they looked at each other incredulously.

"You're hearing this, right Happy?" Eddie (Or Happy?) looked back at Lucy with wide eyes and nodded.

"Aye…" She stammered, still stunned at the mere prospect that anyone wouldn't immediately put on the Lacrima.

"Lucy… you don't know your power until you put it on… And if you don't know your power, you can't train with Natsu…" Eddie had tears brimming in her eyes, and that was all it took for Lucy's heart to melt.

'Holy Mother of God, this kid is good...' Lucy sweatdropped.

"Okay, okay… I'll put it on… Just down drown me in your tears…" The little girl immediately perked up and smiled at the blonde mage with her head cocked to the side.

Lucy reached into the back pocket of her shorts and pulled out the blue stone. She held it up to look at it once again, and then held the necklace out to Natsu.

"Help me put it on?" She asked. He nodded, and then took the Lacrima from her outstretched hand. Natsu twirled his finger, in a gesture that asked her to turn around for him. Lucy did so, and he placed the necklace around her neck. His hands brushed her neck in the process, and she blushed slightly.

At the time, Eddie was standing in front of Lucy, and she noticed the red tinting her skin. Her eyes widened, but the she started grinning like a prosecuting attorney with money in his left hand and decisive evidence in his right.

'You liiiiiiiike him' she mouthed.

Lucy gave her a glare that would have frozen over Hell, and she then placed herself into a state of denial.

'Like Natsu? That kid had way too much fish for breakfast. Natsu's a moron.' She disputed.

"How many times must I say this? This 'Natsu' guy is a HOT moron that you want to screw so bad, you can taste it." The Antichrist was back, and Lucy knew just how to deal with it. She imagined a boulder falling from fifty feet onto the devils head. It looked up, and a look of dejection crossed the poor devil's features.

"Well, fuck…." The devil said just before the boulder reduced it to a poof of smoke, which rapidly dissipated.

"Wait… I've almost got it…. Annnd DONE!" Natsu shouted in triumph.

The clasp of the necklace closed shut with a soft, almost inaudible 'click'.

The sound almost seemed to echo in Lucy's mind, and a bright, searing pain exploded in the back of her skull. She collapsed to the ground, her sight fading to black.

The last thing she saw was Natsu's silhouette against the suns light, the color of his figure leeched out by the shadows. As she succumbed to the darkness, Eddie said, in a perturbed tone:

"I think we forgot to tell her about that…"

And then there was nothing.

_**Hello again, children! Did you miss me? No? Okay…**_

_**How about those cliffhangers? Show of hands: How many people wish to kill me in the most painful way imaginable? Review your answer! Or just review... I like reviews...**_

_**So, I was pretty busy these last few days. Mostly figuring out how to hack into the whatever-it's-called. The point is, I got in! *Yaay* It took me two days, but I have just turned hacker! (Actually, I tortured my mother for the password to my private account, but what's the difference? \\(^u^)/**_  
_**I see none…)**_

_**Shout out to Gothic Bananas… again… for being awesome and whatever... and thanks for the shout outs to me… and stuff…**_

_**Moving along!**_

_**I heard the most amazing song on YouTube! It's called 'After Ever After' by Jon Cozart (Paint)!**_

_**It's got killing, oil spills, CIA, the Taliban, burning people at the stake, and the murdering of European settlers!**_

_**Except it's actually funny…**_

_**'Til next we meet, my lovelies!**_

_**Twisted Sonnet**_


	14. Chapter 13

_**Hello again, children! What a long time it has been since I've seen you all! I know you missed me- *Gets hit in the face with a rotten tomato* ….I see that there are mixed feelings about my absence….. I'll just go die now….**_

_**No, I don't think I will. You would like that too much.**_

_** In my defense, I just got the boxed sets of both Bleach and Naruto. UNCUT. One does not simply just walk away from that. Would YOU?**_

_** Without further ado, I present Chappie 13 (My FAVORITE number…)**_

Mavis was sitting at her desk inside of her tent, wondering just when the new mage would come. She checked the position of the sun, and sighed.

'She didn't put on her Lacrima first thing I see… Interesting.' Mavis thought. That was a first for her, as most people were in such a rush to attain their newfound power that Makarov didn't even finish his explanation before they entered The Domain.

Mavis' Domain resided in the Ringmasters' tent and it had been more than seventy years since someone had picked her Lacrima (Mostly because the last person did not end up in a, shall we say…pleasurable state. But that is a story for another time…). With nothing to do, she had sat, and waited for someone to choose her.

Suddenly, a blonde, busty (And very disheveled) mage tumbled to the floor of the tent. She sat up, wincing as she rubbed her backside. Lucy looked up at the long haired, girlish figure in confusion.

"Who… what….where….." Lucy stammered. Mavis sighed and shook her head.

"I think the question, Lucy, is who." She explained.

"Okaay…. Who? Who are you, and why am I here?" Mavis banged her head on her desk, realizing that the situation wasn't nearly as simple to explain as she remembered it to be. She looked back at Lucy, who was staring at her with the most flustered expression.

The girlish mage felt her poker face slipping, and turned to hide the strained smirk on her face. Unfortunately, she couldn't stop the snicker that escaped.

Lucy's eye twitched and she stood up and stalked to the quaking mass at the desk. She almost reached the destination when, suddenly, Mavis stopped laughing and spun to face the angered blonde, her poker face intact once again.

So surprised was she, Lucy stumbled backwards and landed on her behind, which was still sore from her 'fall'. She muttered a string of curses, and resumed rubbing her tailbone once again.

And, once again, gone was Mavis' poker face as she burst into full-blown laughter. She collapsed from her chair and fell to the floor in a heap, clutching her sides and rolling around. Lucy stood up, and started imagining the horrible things she wanted to do to a specific mage right then.

In a minute, she had composed herself and was wiping tears from her eyes. Mavis met the glare of Lucy and cleared her throat.

"Sorry. I just haven't laughed at anything for a while and..." She shifted uncomfortably under the other mage's death stare, and decided to get to the point.

"The question I'll answer first is 'where'. You are in my Domain, Lucy. The place I have resided in for…" She counted on her fingers "One hundred and fifty years!"

"Your…. What?" Lucy asked.

"My Domain. What you're in right now?" Mavis looked to Lucy to see if any bells were rung but, alas, there were none.

The mage pulled down a chart from the ceiling with a diagram of Lucy's head and a picture of a Lacrima off to the side.

'I'm not even gonna ask.' The blonde thought.

"So," Mavis began "When you put on the Lacrima, you kind of passed out, right?" To emphasize her point, she crumpled to the ground in a wanton position with her eyes shut, mimicking a person collapsing and blacking out.

"…Yeess?" Lucy took a second to answer.

The mage stood back up and pointed to Lucy's head.

"Let's see… since you put the Lacrima on, my domain should be right aboouut… HERE!" Mavis exclaimed, causing Lucy to jump.

Mavis was pointing somewhere near the front of Lucy's brain, and that served to confuse the blonde even more.

"What?" Lucy inquired. Mavis rolled her eyes and groaned.

"You're unconscious, right? So, we are currently residing right here." She tapped the spot again on the diagram. It took a minute to process this, and Lucy thought loooonng and haaarrd about it.

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THE LACRIMA HAVE TO DO WITH IT?!" Lucy shrieked when she finally put the pieces together.

Mavis' eye started twitching again as she realized her other mistake.

"So, I should have begun with 'who' after all…" She mumbled.

"Wait, what?" Lucy asked with a confused expression.

"Introductions, Lucy. Introductions."

"Ohhh…"

Mavis stuck her hand out to Lucy.

"Hi! I'm Mavis Vermilion of Le Cirque du Fairy Tail." Lucy was about to shake her hand when realization struck her.

"Mavis… Vermilion?"

"Yep!"

"So you're…" Lucy stared with wide eyes at the smirking Mavis.

"The first Ringmaster? Yes I am! And what you have there…" She pointed to the glowing blue crystal at the base of Lucy's throat.

"…Is my Lacrima." Mavis stated. She pushed the diagram back up to the top of the tent, where it vanished entirely. The mage sat back down in the chair at her desk, where she leaned back and clasped her hand to her chest.

"I understand that you need to know about your powers…" She said, with a face full of mischievous glee as she began rubbing her hands together, giving herself a conniving aura.

_**And **__**BOOM**__**. The Cliffhanger Queen is BACK, my children.**_

_**I know you all had a difficult time while I was away- *Gets hit with tomatoes again*  
*Hunts down the person throwing stuff* *Murders them. SLOWLY. AND PAINFULLY.***_

_**Does anyone else want to go the way of the dodo bird like that dumb bastard over there? *Silence* **_

_**Didn't think so. So anyway, read and review! Please! I HAVEN"T HAD A REVIEW IN OVER A WEEK!**_

_**WITHDRAAAWWWLLL!**_

_**I shall see you soon, my lovelies!**_

_**VIVA LA VIDA!**_

_**-Twisted Sonnet-**_


	15. Chapter 14

_**I suddenly felt the urge to continue, and continue I shall. Come on. Tell your friends. Tell your neighbors. Tell complete strangers. Tell the WORLD that CHAPPIE 14 IS ALIVEEEEEEE!**_

_** Remember kiddies; Read and Review, or I might just tell Chucky doll where you all live… **_

_** If you think I'm kidding, don't leave a review. Just remember that looked doors can't stop Chucky…. Or locked windows… or guns… or knives… or holy relics… to put it simply, you're fucked, bruh. No question.**_

_** For this chapter, I have the aid of gummy bears, espresso, the first ten episodes of Deadman Wonderland, and absolutely NO sleep.  
That's how you know it's gonna be goooooooooood….**_

_** Without further ado, I present Chapter 14 of Chapter 'WHO THE HELL KNOWS **__**WHEN**__** I'LL END IT'! SUFFER THE AGONY OF THE UNKNOWN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**_

_** Chapter 14 commence….**_

"So where do we start? Your powers or why you're having a snooze?" Mavis asked.

'Didn't we already cover why I passed out?' "Umm… How about powers?" Lucy replied.

The girlish Ringmaster grinned, and Lucy wondered how one so small could smile that big.

"Finally, the good stuff…. You, Lucy of Fairy Tail, have been given the art of….." A sudden burst of confetti and miniature fireworks filled the air, giving the busty mage a mini-heart attack.

"….VARIANCE!"

"…..What?" Lucy inquired, due to not understanding the meaning of the word. Mavis visibly deflated, and facepalmed.

"I always get the blondes…" Mavis muttered.

"YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!" Lucy screamed at the also-blonde hypocrite.

"Variance means something like transfiguration." Seeing that Lucy was still confused, she tried again.

"Mutation?" With her still not understanding, the veteran mage decided to take the direct approach.

"To put in words even you can understand, you take one thingy, and you can turn it into another thingy of your choosing." She said it slowly, pronouncing every word with exaggerated diction like she was speaking to a moron, and that pissed off Lucy to no end.

"I KNOW what those words mean! What I didn't know was what the hell they meant." Mavis just stood there, staring blankly at Lucy, until she cocked her head to the side, her long hair spilling down her shoulder.

"What? Did you just… huh?" Mavis shook her head, deciding to forget it.

"The point is this: If you were to take, say…" Mavis picked up a calligraphy pen from the desk and showed it to the blonde "…This pen. And then you wanted to turn it into… I dunno… a piece of paper? You can do that. Easily. But the thing is, inanimate objects can only become inanimate objects, and animate objects can only become animate objects."

"I… see. What if I wanted to turn it into a plant, or something?" Lucy asked. Mavis put the pen back down and looked back at Lucy.

"Seeing as that's a living object, it's slightly more advanced, but it doesn't need an animate object, but you can still use one. An animal however, depending on the size, is a lot more advanced, uses a lot of your power, and requires another animate object. To turn an animal into a human, and vice versa, is extremely dangerous. The last owner of my Lacrima died turning an animal into a human, and, like I said, It was due to their own idiocy. Still with me?"

"Yeah, but are there any…. Animate objects… that I can create without using an original object?" Lucy asked.

"…Yes. They are called the Zodiac, but they do use a lot of power. Also, you have to have a certain power capacity to open them in the first place. Each one has a different required capacity, and you do not reach any of the standards yet."

"How do I call them?"

"When you do earn the right to use them, you just yell their names."

"…That's it?"

"Yeah. Were you expecting some kind of a mystical incantation?"

"Sort of." Mavis tried not to lose patience, she really did, but this girl was almost too much.

"You know what? You're going to wake up in a few seconds, anyway. Sit back, and you'll figure out the rest later. If you don't kill yourself before then."

"WAIT WHAT?!" Lucy screamed, but once again, just like when she entered the Domain, the world was shadowed once again.

_**Lucy**__**: "There is no progress. WHY IS THERE NO PROGRESS!?"**_

_**Mavis**__**: "Why am I so out of character? YOU'RE SO MEAN, SONNET!" *Runs away in tears***_

_**Natsu**__**: "I agree with Luce. We need progress. I wanna screw her, already!"**_

_**Lucy**__**: "OH MY GOD, YOU FUCKING PERVERT!" *Starts beating Natsu***_

_**Le Moi, sitting in the shadows, eating out of a five pound bag of gummy bears**__**: "Carry on, my children. Nothing to see here. This is nothing more than a mere glimpse into Twisted Sonnet's Brain Theatre. On to the real A/N.**_

_** …**_

_** Sooo…. That was fun. Like the two future love-birds (Fuck buddies? I don't know…) up there have said, more action must come into play. *Cracks knuckles***_

_** I might be able to add a few more… plot twists…. cliffhangers... and more small children with light blue hair who may or may not be a cat in another life… who knows?**_

_** See you soon, my children.**_

_** VIVE L'AMÉRIQUE!**_

_** -**__**Twisted Sonnet**__**-**_


	16. Chapter 15

_**I'm writing, I'm writing! No more death threats!**_

_**See this? WHITE FLAG! WHITE FLAAAAG!**_

_**R&amp;R, chilluns!~**_

Lucy stared out the window of the rushing train, as she had been doing since she had woken up there, and fumed. She glanced over at the retching guy leaning out the window and frowned.

"Jesus, Natsu. I thought only pregnant women threw up that much."

From said window, Natsu was leaning out and struggling to hold onto the remaining lunch his stomach somehow still contained. He hauled himself back into the train car and looked Lucy dead in the eye.

"Unless you have problems with me throwing up on you, I suggest you _shut the hell up_." At his words, her eyes widened and then squinted them into a glare once more.

"You _wouldn't_." Natsu then leaned down until his face was only inches from hers.

"Wanna bet? 'Cause here it comes…" His face started to turn green and Lucy shrieked.

"GETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAY!" She kicked out against the 'flamehead' and he reeled backwards. He attempted to regain his balance but he was already out the open window.

Lucy froze as he disappeared from her view. '_Oops..._' She thought as she slumped down in her seat.

"Whaddya mean, 'Oops'?" Happy asked from the doorway with her little arms crossed and leaning against the frame.

"_Oops again…_" Lucy thought when she realized she had 'thought' out loud.

Lucy turned towards the mop of shockingly blue hair and smiled her sweetest, most innocent-little-church-girl smile.

"Whatever do you mean, sweetie?" Lucy gushed. Now _Happy_ looked like she was about to be sick. Then she glanced around the cabin.

"Where's Natsu?" Lucy froze and thought quickly.

"He stepped out for a mo. He'll be back."

As she said this, the Fire Dragon Slayer hauled himself back into the cabin and collapsed to the floor in a wheezing mess. Lucy turned back to Happy and smiled once more.

"You see? Back." Natsu painstakingly turned his head to Lucy and glared at her.

"Barely! Do you have any idea how HARD it is to keep hold of a moving train?! Even with these guns," Natsu paused to flex his definitely abundant- though Lucy would never admit it- arm muscles " I almost let go and died! Has ANYONE ever told you it's mean to kick people off of moving trains?! Hell, even stationary trains! Or, just plain KICKING! Damn, you and kicking!" Happy gasped.

"You kicked him off the train?!"

Lucy scoffed. "Oh, stop exaggerating you baby. I'm sure you would have been fine... eventually... or, at worst, brain dead. But we still wouldn't have been able to tell, honey."

"Shut UP!...And Lucy?" Natsu clambered to his feet.

"What?"

"...I can see your panties..." Lucy immediately flushed and kicked him in the groin. _**(A/N: Wow, what a politically correct term... I must be slipping 8D) **_Natsu let out a groan and slid back down to the floor, clutching his throbbing manhood in agony_**. (A/N: This particular phrase (Minus...you know... the 'in agony' bit) will be used again later in the story, don't worry my fellow pervs!~)**_ Happy immediately rushed to her father figure's aid.

"Natsu, Lucy is crazy! Do you need anything? Water? Food? How about fish?!" Happy paused. "...Fish... I'm hungry; I'm gonna go get some fish! Don't move, Natsu! I'll get you some, too!" She ran out of the cabin shouting to anyone who would listen about her lack of fish, slamming the door behind her.

As soon as Happy left and began to storm the other circus performers with her woes, Erza, Gray, and an especially clingy Juvia entered the cabin.

As was expected, the first to notice Natsu's condition was Gray. He knelt down beside him and began his taunting.

"So Natsu; Not so high and mighty now, are you? What could have possibly knocked the great and powerful Fire Dragon Slayer off of his pedestal?...Besides a soft wind, that is." Juvia cuddled closer to her 'Gray- sama' than should be possible and, ignoring his cringe, cooed "Gray- sama is so witty! Gray-sama is better than Natsu on his worst day! Not that he has any bad days, of course~"

Natsu rolled over so that his face was in the plush carpet of the cabin and mumbled something inaudible. Gray cocked his head and sneered.

"What was that? What words did your Majesty attempt to caress mine own ears with?" Natsu, with his face still in the carpet, raised a hand and slightly gestured for his arch-nemesis to come closer. Gray leaned closer mockingly and waited for a moment.

Natsu suddenly reached up and grabbed Gray by the throat as if he were naught but a doll and dragged him closer to his still-covered face. Gray's eyes widened and he scratched at Natsu's hand but to no avail. Finally, Natsu peeled his face off of the carpet and unblinkingly looked Gray dead in the eye with and expression that would have Death itself quaking in fright.

"I _said_," he seethed menacingly "'If you don't shut up, I will rip your balls off and shove them down your throat.'" He pulled Gray's rapidly purpling face even closer to his own. "_Savvy_?"

Gray quickly nodded and was released none too swiftly by an appeased Natsu. He gasped for breath and glared at the person responsible for his shortness of breath.

"I'm glad we understand each other." Natsu said as he stood and brushed himself off. Juvia helped Gray stand, and was about to say something to Natsu when she caught Erza glaring at her which, in short, shut her up faster than anything.

Satisfied that the brawl had ceased, Erza smoothed her expression and turned to Lucy, who subconsciously sat up straighter with Erza's stony gaze.

"Master Makarov has requested both yourself and Natsu to his personal car for lunch. I suggest you promptly leave, as he is not particularly the patient type." She turned to Natsu as she mentioned this, and he gulped and laughed a light, nervous laugh.

At this, Erza turned and exited the quarters, but not without dragging the almost naked Gray and the still attached Juvia with her. Lucy stood from her seat and followed suit, closely trailed by Natsu.

Judging from her almost elated state while Natsu was putting Gray in his place (Not to mention the state of her panties), Lucy learned one thing from her time with Natsu; She liked her men both ripped and slightly rough around the edges.

She smiled as she came to this conclusion, and continued to trail Erza with a light step as the train continued its journey.

_**WHOO! **_

_** Hey kiddies! How's life been the past... *Checks last update date* ...six...months... Heh heh.**_

_** That's a long time, isn't it... But I'm sure you forgive me, right?...Right?...GUYS? **_

_**WHY DO YOU HAVE KEROSENE?!  
DON'T LIGHT THAT MATCH!  
PUT THE MATCH DOWN!  
NOT ON THE KEROSENE, YOU FOOL!  
WHY ARE YOU TYING ME UP?!  
**__**GUYS**__**?!**_

_**GUUUUUYYYSS**__**!**_

_**NUUUUUUUUU**__**!~**_

_**...JK Fire can't kill me, it's my domain. I practically created it. Seriously, I scare the bejesus outta Jesus.**_

_**Anyway, new stuff has happened to me lately!**_

_**Doctor Who (BAE~), High School (Burn it. Now), Code Geass, LEARNING TWO GODDAMN LANGUAGES AT ONCE!**_

_**Japanese class is currently one of only two classes that make high school bearable, Geometry is murder, Biology and American History are boring as fuck, Gym is gym, no explanation needed, and the other class that makes it bearable is Honors English.  
But still, all in all, like Justin Bieber, It needs to be raped and murdered in a dingy alleyway at midnight by a fat old man.**_

_**And Ebola! Satan save us from Ebola! It's not like only about four people have contracted it in the U.S. and there are thousands of diseases that are far more common and far more deadly! **_

_**On that note, FAREWELL, CHILDREN! SEE YOU IN THE NEXT CHAPPIE!**_

_**REVIEW YOUR LITTLE ASSES OFF ABOUT YOUR PURE AND ANADULTERATED JOY REGARDING MY RETURN!~**_

_**Seriously. Review or I will find you and stalk you all over cyberspace.**_

_**-**__**Twisted Sonnet**__**-**_

_**(P.S.- Remember; The Russian language is sexy and so are British accents!~  
Bye for real!)**_


End file.
